Resurrectional Apolytikia;

Hey friends this in fond memory of my goldfish koi
And if you ask me why i have written this........you can say Fondness for Conan Doyle+Pain of Seperation from koi....Koi even Ruby(my favourite cat friend) misses you





You have a number of low-cost options available to you in detecting, apprehending, and "disposing of" the thief of your beloved, disappearing koi.

1) Fashion a decoy koi using several cups of goldfish crackers, glue, and gold metallic paint. Before the mixture is allowed to set, insert several plaque dye tablets at the core of your faux fish, then sculpt to approximate a fattened, succulent koi. If your neighbor or neighbor's cat boasts vivid, scarlet-stained teeth immediately following a koi disappearance, you are well within your rights to take matters to the next level.

2) Apprehend one of your neighbor's 13 cats for interrogation, taking great care to replace the cat with an exact duplicate. (Purchase a close approximation at your local animal shelter, then proceed to an animal groomer — which are often fronts for underground pet trading — and, after showing them a photograph of the kidnapped kitty, they should be able to provide a believable twin.) Interrogating a cat is fairly simple once you break past their aloof façade. (Catnip is a cruelty-free way of achieving this end.) Anchovies, smelt, or tuna are effective inducements to getting at the truth, as are balls of genuine wool yarn, squeaky mice, or even brown paper shopping bags. For that rarest of subjects — the faithful cat — harsher measures may need to be employed, such as electro-cat box therapy and/or rubbing their fur the wrong way.

3) Dress yourself in a large, gray-green garbage bag and lay at the bottom of your pond, breathing through a hollow reed, toy flute, or camouflaged Krazy Straw. If someone disturbs the sanctity of your pond, grab him or her by the wrists and pull them into the pond for as long as you deem necessary.

4) Improvise. Have fun! Go crazy! Espionage is about more than just the act or practice of spying or of using spies to obtain secret information: it's about expressing yourself in unique ways. (Though, to be perfectly honest, it is mostly about the act or practice of spying or of using spies to obtain secret information.)